REWARDING SUPPORT
By Dan Coulter
Do you crave recognition?
Do you secretly yearn for praise of your accomplishments? While
it'ssocially appropriate to be modest, just about all of us want our
good works
to be noticed. And we love rewards. What could feel
better than someone praising us and offering a concrete expression of
their appreciation?
During the years I worked in various corporate jobs, these expressions
were frequently tangible. Company rewards often come in the form of
plaques or promotions or bonuses. One of the best I ever received was a
trip to Disney World with my family when my kids were little. Talk about
making dad a hero.
Now that I'm working for myself, the rewards are different. It means a
lot when customers praise the videos my wife and I make or when a
program gets an enthusiastic review from an expert.
Living with less tangible rewards helps me appreciate all the other
folks out there who provide support to children or adults who have
Asperger Syndrome or autism and who don't have a formal reward
structure. Folks like
the moms and dads or siblings. Let's add grandparents, friends,
teachers, tutors, counselors, aides, coaches, and therapists. You can't
capture all the possibilities of people who should get credit in a list.
Some jobs, such as teacher or counselor, do sometimes offer structured,
work-related rewards for providing excellent support. But in my
experience, they usually don't reach the levels or frequency of the
corporate
cornucopia. And, trust me, many of the folks I've met who support people
with Asperger Syndrome or autism deserve rewards just as much as my
esteemed former corporate colleagues.
A while back, I wrote an article about the importance of giving positive
feedback to the people we deal with on a daily basis. Now, I'm proposing
that we take this a step further.
Think about someone who's made a difference in the life of your child on
the spectrum and give him or her recognition AND a reward.
The reward doesn't have to be expensive. For example, as I write this,
there's a framed document hanging on the wall next to me titled, "Five
Reasons I Wouldn't Want Any Other Daddy." My daughter gave it to me when
she was a lot younger. The five reasons she wrote are extravagant and
funny and it's one of most treasured rewards I've ever received.
In an age of computers, it's relatively easy to create and print your
own award citation. You can make up your own category and describe the
great work someone's done. Pick up an inexpensive frame and, voila,
you're giving
a reward that announces your appreciation to everyone who sees it. But
whether you offer an award plaque or cookies or a custom printed
T-shirt, a tangible reward is a great way to give extra spark to
recognition for
someone who truly deserves it. Not to mention giving him or her that
emotional boost we all need to do our best work.
If we may, my wife and I would like to assist.
Write an essay nominating a special person who has provided outstanding
support to someone with Asperger Syndrome or autism and send it to us by
email or regular mail by Monday, April 14, 2008. We'll select two
nominees who we feel best represent the spirit of support. With their
permission, on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 we'll post the essays about
them on our website and send them each a complete set of the DVDs we
produce, including all nine titles. We'll call this project the "Spirit
of Support" awards.
We'll post details on our website at
www.coultervideo.com/supportaward2008.htm.
In the meantime, don't forget the cookies. Rewards come in all sizes.
And appreciation fills a part of us that should never go empty.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dan Coulter produces DVDs about Asperger Syndrome and
autism. His most recent releases include "Understanding Brothers and
Sisters with Autism" and "Understanding Brothers and Sisters with
Asperger Syndrome." You can find more articles on his website at
www.coultervideo.com .
Copyright 2008 Dan Coulter All Rights Reserved Used By Permission
"I know of nobody who is purely Autistic or purely neurotypical.
Even God had some Autistic moments, which is why the planets all spin."
~ Jerry Newport